Self-Worth And Happiness

On Friday, my husband, a few friends, and myself were all having a conversation on our porch.  In this conversation, it came to the topic of being an adult.  We are all in our mid to late twenties and some of us feel old before out time while others are still barely touching the mental age of fifteen.  We’re a nice mix of maturity and fun and it keeps things interesting and exciting.

While on the topic of being an adult, we all came to the conclusion that being an adult is much easier than what everyone said it was going to be.  Yeah, we are all still trying to figure out what we want to be when we grow up.  Yes, we’re all still figuring out what the end game is for us. And, yes, we’re still trying to fight the fact that in a few years gray hairs might start appearing.

But that’s stuff we’ll never stop facing.  We’ll face those problems for the rest of our lives.

What we have all figured out is that life is so much easier when you realize that no one is honestly looking at you.  People are so absorbed in their own lives and their own problems that they are rarely every judging you.  If they are looking at you, they’re just looking and comparing you to their own life and their own problems.  If they’ve made a mental ranking of you, that’s their prerogative.  Their scale?  Doesn’t matter. And that’s the freeing part.

I tell my students that they shouldn’t worry about what people think of them.  They need to be their own person and strive for inner happiness.  I know they aren’t going to hear that because their hormones have given them selective hearing and the power to worry about every single aspect of their being, but I hope that it sits somewhere deep in their heart and resonates until they get older.

Life is easier when you just paddle your own boat or you find someone to paddle it with you.  Go about your day and do what makes you happy.  Forget the looks you get and forget the mental scales of measure.  Find the measure of self-worth.

Today is a good day to start that!

Hiking, Writing, Patio Furniture… This is life.

Today a co-worker told me a cliche that I had never heard before.  She said, after a conversation about changing jobs and moving towns, that “you bloom where you’re planted.”  That honestly scared me.  As a high school student, I had constantly worried about remaining in my home town and becoming just another face that melted into the generations of families that never left the county.  I knew, beyond a doubt, that I never wanted to be that.

Fast forward about eight years (whoa I’m old), and here I am.  I am sitting on the deck of my rented townhouse on my new patio furniture and I’m thinking about my life.  I’ve got a lovely home with a great husband, I travel most weekends, and I experience life as best as I can.  However, I am entirely different than what I pictured in high school.  High school me wouldn’t be ashamed, but she would definitely be shocked.  I think I would like to explain to her that sometimes you grow happy where you are and with what you’re doing.  Sometimes you’re doing what you need to for that moment, but tomorrow might be different.

But, I’m not done.  I’m not planted.  While I’m still in my community where you can leave your front door open for some sun and the biggest excitement of the county is the fair, I haven’t planted myself.  My husband and I still rent and we know that it isn’t rent to own.  We aren’t ready for that.  If our dream city of Seattle comes a-calling, we want to answer her siren song.  We don’t want to be held down.

So, yes… You make the best of where you’re planted.  You’re in the here and you’re in the now, but tomorrow you could be transplanted.  Be ready for a new container, new soil, and new sun.

14- Run Down

Today has been an interesting day in all reality. It wasn’t exactly bad, but it was definitely one of those bad mood days. I remarked to my partners at school and my husband that I am bored. I think I’ve become bored by my job and bored by the days that just seem to slug by. I’m also beginning to contemplate my chosen job and I am wondering if there is a way to do something different. Stephen always tells me there is and I am working for it. I am working for it every time I pick up my camera and every time I promote my pictures. I’ve always believed in pipe dreams and I am going to continue to believe that being a photographer or writer is still a possibility for me. It’d be nice, wouldn’t it?

On a much lighter note, I watched more episodes of Doctor Who tonight than I really should have. Three in total and I couldn’t take my eyes away, literally.  I had the honor of watching “Blink”. If you’ve never seen Doctor Who or you absolute hate the idea of it, please try “Blink” and you won’t be sorry. It’s the perfect blend of horror, science fiction, and fantasy. It is a wonderful work of television.